Resonant Leadership by Richard Boyatzis Annie McKee & Annie Mckee

Author:Richard Boyatzis, Annie McKee & Annie Mckee [BOYATZIS, RICHARD]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781591395638
Publisher: Harvard Business School Publishing Corp (Perseus)
Published: 2005-09-14T04:00:00+00:00

Supportive Relationships

Reflection, contemplation, meditation, cognitive training: however you choose to explore your inner world, these things are all critical to developing mindfulness. But even they are not enough. In addition to attending to yourself, you need to pay attention to the other side of the equation, and learn how to attend consciously to other people and the world around you. This is very difficult (if not impossible) to do by yourself. How can you be sure if you are reading other people right if you never check it out with them, or with others? How will you know if you have considered all possibilities regarding a specific situation if you do not engage in dialogue with others? How will you even know if your view of yourself is accurate?

Learning mindfulness includes attending to how and what other people think, feel, and do. This gives you information about the world around you, certainly, but it also gives you information about yourself. It is a lesson that Josie Harper, director of athletics and recreation at Dartmouth College, learned a few years ago when she found herself in the difficult situation of having to shut down one of her athletic programs. It was a last resort, and naturally not a popular decision. But Josie knew that absorbing another budget cut and having every program suffer, across the board, was not the direction she was willing to take. Past budget cuts had caused many of the programs to be lean and at risk of slipping backwards. As difficult as the decision was, and after much consideration, she decided to recommend dropping one sport—men’s and women’s swimming and diving. She realized this would be viewed as a risk and perceived as a radical step—one that would be very unpopular with constituents. Certainly the people that concerned Josie the most were the student athletes.

And, not surprisingly, student athletes, parents, and alumni alike were unhappy with her. She was barraged her with phone calls, e-mails, and even tearful pleas in the hallways and at meetings. Amid all of the tumult, in a situation in which many people would be tempted to put up a wall around themselves, or at least a “Do Not Disturb” sign on their doors, Josie stayed close and attentive; she stayed in relationship with people. Even during those weeks when people actually hated what she was doing—and maybe hated her—she continued to reach out, to connect, to talk. She made sure she had all her facts straight and, as importantly, that she truly understood the emotions and opinions of the people affected by her decision. She met as many people as possible—personally and without time limits. She listened, she talked, she stayed centered, grounded, and connected even during the most difficult conversations. With help from others in administration, her approach worked: in the end, students, parents, and alumni pulled together in a phenomenal way, and the program was actually saved.

Josie tells us that these “fifty days from hell” were one of the greatest learning experiences of her life.

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